Barto's Basics

July, 2023

I tapped out today.

I got out of line while waiting for the next rollercoaster.
.
.
.

Your girl has been on an emotional thrill ride bender for the last few weeks and today I just had to get off.

And I let myself cry.

I physically could not push it down any longer and poof!

The tears (and relief) came rushing out of me.

Life is crazy sometimes.

I promise you that almost daily for the last 3 weeks I have experienced darn near every emotion possible within each day.

Today L got his first car and that is exciting (and a little terrifying)… tomorrow I am visiting nursing homes in hopes of selecting one for my step dad.

N went up a shoe size and suddenly her high school graduation flashed before my eyes.

My marriage is stepping into a new (and much welcomed) season of calm and joy. That feeling of “ahhh there it is again” is so hopeful and secure.

Parenting in the teenage years are hard and heads butt often…. And then your teenager who you’re pretty sure thinks you’re nuts, texts you asking to go to church. So you change your plans and go. And take a sigh of relief.

I love my job. I want to do more.

Then someone else needs me and I realize I don’t have time for it all.

Not even time to cry.

Enter Jesus…

You know how I know Jesus is the real deal?

Because Jesus is the one who pulled me out of the rollercoaster line today.

I kept hearing in my head “give it to me. Let it out. You’re safe”.

Because I felt his peace even as I sobbed in my car.

Because I heard N’s sweet voice say from the backseat “Don’t cry Mama. I love you”

The crazy thing is that with Jesus we can feel joy and pain at the same time.

I’m grieving so much in this moment and still, there is peace and joy in my life.

I’ve been trained and coached to compartmentalize emotions and get s*^t done…

And I feel strongly that Jesus is pushing me to unlearn that.

Instead…

Feel it.

Lean into it.

Pray through it.

Be held in the way only Jesus can hold me.

I’ll get on another rollercoaster again soon, I know… because that’s life.

But for the rest of today, I am off the ride and at the feet of my savior who sees me.

And I am loved.

❤️🙏🏻✝️

Looking for resources to help you rest? Check these out – yes, these are affiliate links and I may earn a small commission.

Risen Motherhood – I love this devotional!

5 Habits of a Women Who Doesn’t Quit – this book changed me and my perspective. I have recommended it many times and it’s 5 stars all around!

Mom Up! – another good one that I keep coming back to for quick hit reminders.